Guilt and Grief
by 88KeysOfSadism
Summary: I felt terrible. This was my fault, not Nightwing's. I should have said no... Two-shot
1. Part 1

**So I was watching Depths (again, because angst and Nightwing in action for a bit), and this thought popped into my mind:**

**Artemis isn't really unconscious... I wonder what she's thinking.**

**And thus follows an obnoxious plot bunny, which I wrote down because it was actually kind of decent. **

**This is first person from Artemis' POV, and should be a two-shot if I get around to it... Lemme know if I got anything wrong as far as the episode goes. I watched one scene like... twenty times trying to get it right for this.**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Young Justice, Nightwing would have been waaaaay more active. But we never saw that. So I don't own it. **

**Also, there's this random line break at the top of this story right now... If anybody knows how to get rid of it, I would be very grateful XD**

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His water bearer connected forcefully with my bow, sending it flying away towards Nightwing. I knew the former Boy Wonder wasn't about to get back up. He wasn't supposed to. That wasn't part of the plan.

Aqualad's water bearer shifted into a blade. For a moment, I panicked. What if he really was bad? What if he'd lied. What if-

The blade wrapped snugly around my middle, and the only person who could see that it was fake was Nightwing. I gasped at the touch. Of all the things I'd been warned about, Kaldur had forgotten to warn me of the chill of his blades. They were much colder than I'd expected.

I cracked the pill in my mouth that would suppress my vital signs. It would look like I wasn't breathing, and nobody would be able to feel or hear a pulse. Why Nightwing couldn't get something that would actually knock me out was beyond me.

"Welcome back," hissed Aqualad. I looked at his eyes, mine wide open. His held anger, coldness, carelessness, and… regret? Concern? It was too hard to read.

He pulled the blade away, and I instantly put my arms around where it had been. Partly to try and warm the spot back up from the sudden cold, partly to hide the fact that there was no blood, and nothing wrong with me. I stumbled backward, trying to put on a bit of a show.

"ARTEMIS!" Nightwing's voice cracked as he shouted, and for a second, I almost forgot that he knew. He sounded so heartbroken, so alarmed.

_Where did he learn such great acting skills? The only thing I'm good at is dying… Which is probably a good thing in this case. _

Praying desperately that no one had heard that over the link, I stepped back a little bit, my footing uneven on the sand.

"I got you. Just hang on." Strong hands caught my shoulders, definitely Nightwing's. Not that I'd memorized what his hands felt like or anything, that was just… him. He laid me gently on the sand, one hand supporting my head now, and I groaned a bit before going limp and closing my eyes. Under any other circumstance, he probably would have laughed at how hard I was trying, but that wouldn't have been real… Not at all…

I let my head fall to one side, feeling his hand brush over my upper abdomen. Something wet was there now, thankfully warm instead of cold. I didn't dare open my eyes to look. I had to stay still. I had to play dead.

Nightwing moved his hands to my chest, and began light presses on my chest. I knew he was being careful, trying not to hurt me with what probably looked like CPR.

"One, two, three…"

"Move out; the mission is a failure." That was Aqualad. (Hopefully he wouldn't get in too much trouble for failing his father. Hopefully my death would atone for his failure.)

An explosion rang out overhead. I knew that was the rocket without even opening my eyes. A white light flashed, and I could see it even through my eyelids. (Like it was supposed to? Maybe he'd succeeded after all?)

"Nine, ten, eleven…" Nightwing was still at it, wasn't even paying attention. I wondered briefly how he learned to ignore things so well…

"We are done here," said Aqualad. His voice was calm, as ever, but this calm was laced with malice. I wasn't used to that. I had to suppress a shiver at his tone.

Nightwing had stopped counting, but I still kept track.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

Several out of place splashes told me Aqualad and his… for lack of a better word, team, were leaving us. They didn't want to face the wrath of our team mates when they found out…

I heard something solidly hit the sand, then footsteps.

Conner.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

Twenty-four.

A splash, and the sudden arrival of more footsteps announced the arrival of someone else. I assumed M'gann. Oh gosh, she was going to be so heartbroken…

Twenty-five.

Twenty-six.

Twenty-seven.

"I… I don't hear her heart beat…" Conner sounded so blank, so confused… He'd probably never watched someone die. Not like this. It was different when you knew the dying person personally. When it wasn't your fault. I would know…

"Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty." Nightwing sounded so out of breath. To M'gann and Conner, it probably sounded like he was out of breath and panicking. It sounded like it to me, even though I knew it was an act.

I heard him gasp and felt him place one hand on my forehead, and one on my chin. His lips met mine, and I felt him try to force breath down my throat. It was such a weird feeling. I felt him lifting his head from mine, heard him breathe, then felt his lips again. I could have sworn he mumbled a soft "sorry" into my lips before pulling away.

What was he sorry for?

He put one last awkward breath into my body – awkward for me at least – then pulled back again. His hands left my face, and I felt a drop of sweat meet my cheek.

I heard Nightwing sit up. Then he spoke.

"She's dead."

His voice was so hollow, so empty… It pained me to hear him like this. It was hard for me to believe that he was acting.

I lay as still as I possibly could, knowing any sort of movement would ruin it.

Movement in the sand told me Nightwing was sitting back now, and I could almost hear him running his fingers through his hair.

"No." The whisper was M'gann's. It broke my heart. More than anything else in the world right now, I wanted to sit up and tell her it was okay, assure her that I hadn't died. But I couldn't.

"No, she can't be dead." M'gann's voice was so full of determination, and I heard her running towards me. "Artemis, wake up." She placed her hands on my arm. "Artemis, please!" She shook me, and it was all I could do to stay limp. I felt tears landing on my face. "Artemis!"

"M'gann, she's gone." Nightwing had always been the force of reason, even as Robin. I half expected him to tell her to "get traught." But I knew he wouldn't. He'd changed so much since then. We all had.

"No, she's not!" shouted M'gann. "She can't be! I won't let her! Artemis!" Her shaking became frantic, jostling my whole body.

"M'gann!"

"We can't just give up on her, Nightwing!" she protested. I felt her hands leave my arm, felt her place them on my chest. She was going to try CPR…

"M'gann!" Her hands were gone with Nightwing's words, and I assumed that he'd grabbed her hands. "There's nothing we can do."

The Martian girl started to sob, and I imagined Nightwing wrapping his arms around her, trying to comfort her as she mourned.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING MORE!" I heard fists hitting flesh and realized that M'gann was punching Nightwing. "YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE UP HERE! YOU SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED HER!" Nightwing said nothing, taking both the physical and verbal blows soundlessly. "THIS IS ALL! YOUR! FAULT!"

She broke down with the last words, her grief overcoming any anger she was feeling. I felt terrible. This was my fault, not Nightwing's. I should have said no when he'd asked me to rejoin the team, when he'd asked me to join his stupid, idiotic, foolish plan to infiltrate The Light.

Several minutes passed in silence before Nightwing whispered to M'gann to call the bioship. I assumed she'd done as she was told, and heard her get up and walk away. Nightwing slipped his hands under my body and lifted me up, bridal style, carrying me to, I assumed, the bioship.

I was set down after a few short moments, probably in the bioship, and I heard footsteps walking away. But someone was still in the room. I felt a blanket on my feet, and felt someone pull the fabric up so it covered my entire body. Footsteps retreated, but then stopped.

"She was right," came a whisper. It was Nightwing's. "It is my fault. I'm sorry."

I heard him walk away, and remembered before. He'd mumbled sorry; I was just of it now. Then it hit me.

His lips had touched mine. Sure, it was CPR, but he felt guilty. He'd kissed his best friend's girlfriend. Not that it was actually a kiss, but in his mind, it must have been enough to make him feel guilty. He hadn't needed to… Wally would probably be mad when – if – he found out. But he wouldn't.

Nightwing had been through enough already.

He didn't need any more guilt that he already had.

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**So there... Yeah. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND REPLY! I really do... XD**


	2. Part 2

**So one of my reviewers noted that Artemis was probably unconscious during that time because of the pill she cracked. I'd forgotten about that, and it hadn't occurred to me that she was unconscious… So I went back into the first bit and changed that. THANK YOU!**

**I still don't own Young Justice... Seriously...**

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The bioship landed after what felt like an amazingly long time. It had gotten really hot under that blanket, but I was glad Nightwing had covered me up. I wasn't sure how much longer I would have been able to keep my eyes shut. I'd kept them open for a long time, but as soon as I felt the halt of the ship, I shut them again. Not worth the risk.

I felt strong arms lift me up again, and assumed it was Nightwing. He wrapped the blanket firmly around me, and then I felt him walk.

Voices drifted towards me.

"M'gann? What's the matter?" Wonder Girl asked. Her simple naivety had annoyed me when I'd first met her, but now her lighthearted tone simply added to the already high level of grief.

"Nightwing, what- Oh no…" That was Batgirl. She probably understood. She knew it was me he was carrying.

Knowing Nightwing, he was refusing to meet anyone's eyes. He walked down the ramp, then walked to the side, trying to avoid all the people. Voices followed us as we passed.

"Oh my gosh."

"No… Is that really..?"

"What happened?"

Nightwing was picking up speed, walking as fast as he could.

"Who is that?"

"Where's Lagoon Boy?"

"Nightwing! Wait!"

Nightwing actually stopped at that last request. It had been Robin's. Two sets of footsteps were approaching, and then they stopped behind us.

"Who did this?" asked a voice softly. It was Batgirl's.

Nightwing's grip on me tightened, and I winced slightly. I didn't know whether his anger was acting or not.

"I don't want to talk about it," he growled.

A hand touched his upper arm, brushing my head. "It's not your fault, Dick." That was Robin. Nightwing and Robin had such a close relationship. I knew it was hurting the younger to see the older in so much pain.

Nightwing pulled his arm away from Robin. "You don't know that, Tim."

"You always do this!" shouted Batgirl. I felt Nightwing turn to presumably glare at her, but she stood her ground. "Every time something bad happens, you blame yourself. You can't save everyone! You're not perfect, Dick! None of us are. So stop beating yourself up over something that's out of your control. You didn't know; it's not. Your. Fault."

Nightwing took a deep breath, then walked away.

"Where are you going?" asked Batgirl accusingly.

Nightwing stopped walked, but didn't turn around. "Somebody's got to tell Wally," he whispered. He sounded so upset…

"Oh gosh…"

I bright white light shone in front of me, seen through both my eyelids and the blanket covering me.

_Recognized: Nightwing: B01_

It didn't even pick up on me. That was weird. I guess the vital suppressers were doing their job… Were they supposed to do that? Red Tornado has never had a pulse, but it always picks up on him…

The light faded. The sound of distantly screeching bats reached my ears. Nightwing took a few steps, his footsteps echoing around us. Why had he taken me to some cave? Then it hit me.

I was in the Batcave.

"Welcome home, Master Dick. I've- Oh dear…" The proper British voice trailed off. My legs brushed someone's arm, and I assumed Nightwing had just brushed past the British man. Nightwing kept walking, and the other man stayed silent.

I heard a click and a hissing noise, and then Nightwing set me down on some sort of a chair. I let my head fall to one side.

"If I may, sir: what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." His voice had lost the coarse quality it had taken on when confronting Batgirl and Robin. He sounded tired and on the verge of tears. I heard movement on my left, and something clicking.

"Master Dick, I know that look; it's the same one Master Bruce gets when something happens badly." There was a slight pause. "Don't blame yourself, sir. There was nothing you could have done."

There was another pause, but then Nightwing spoke up again.

"How do you know?"

There was a hissing noise again, and then the sound of an engine starting up. Then the seat beneath me started to move. I was in a car.

After a couple minutes of driving in silence, Nightwing spoke again. "You're welcome to take that off if you'd like; nobody can see in here."

I pulled the blanket off of my head, and was instantly overwhelmed by the sight of blackness, and lots and lots of buttons. Over on my left, Nightwing was driving.

"Is this the Batmobile?" I asked.

He nodded. "Batman's not here, so I get to drive it some of the time. I'm trying to keep at least Robin away from it, but I don't trust Batgirl's driving skills either."

I nodded and looked out the front. We were driving through trees, the lights of Gotham shining off in the distance. "You didn't have to be so rude, you know."

He didn't respond to that for a while. "What do you mean, rude?"

"To Robin. To Batgirl. To that British guy. They were just trying to help you."

"I know," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. I knew he wasn't going to keep talking about that.

"Where are we headed to?" I asked.

"Bludhaven," he told me, his eyes never leaving the road.

There were several moments of silence before I decided to break it. "You're a really good actor."

"Thanks. You're not bad yourself."

"All I did was play dead!"

He smirked slightly. "But you made a very convincing dead person."

I rolled my eyes and half expected him to let out his signature cackle. "But really, where did you learn that? Did you major in acting or something?"

"Dude, I'm barely out of high school! I'm only in my first year of college; haven't really majored in anything yet." I rolled my eyes at him. "To be honest, I never really… learned acting. It just sort of came out. I had to get good at it when this whole thing started." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Sometimes, I think we're in too deep with this. We're all surrounded by lies and half-truths. And it's my fault."

I placed my hand on his arm. He looked over at me. "It's not your fault, Nightwing."

"Isn't it?" He turned back to the road. "When Kaldur first found out about who his father was, he came and told me. He told me his… dilemma. Of course, he would never had turned evil – that was completely out of the question – but he thought that maybe as an inside source, he could supply the team with information about the Light. So I told him to try it. A double agent. My idea. My fault."

He ran his fingers through his hair again. "Any deaths, any mishaps, any losses that come from this… It's all my fault. Because when he told me, I knew the risks. I knew that if we were found out, we'd be killed. I knew that anyone who got in the way would probably be killed. I knew that Aqualad would have to prove his loyalty, by killing or revealing secrets. And I still have no idea what he's said. I told him to tell anything and everything. I told him to keep his act up through anything possible, and that we'd work through any glitches. I could have predicted that something like this would happen."

The Batmobile finally came to a stop outside of an old abandoned warehouse.

His eyes turned to me again. "I'm sorry, Artemis." He opened the top hatch with a hiss and got out.

Just those three words held so many things.

I'm sorry for dragging you into this.

I'm sorry for taking you away from Wally.

I'm sorry that you might have to kill.

I'm sorry that you will be killed if you're found out.

I'm sorry that you can't tell anyone.

I'm sorry for kissing you.

But it wasn't a kiss.

I got out as well, running to keep up with his fast pace. I placed my hand on his arm again, stopped him and turning him around. I squeezed his arm lightly. "Dick," I whispered. "It's okay."

He gave me a sad smile. "Is it?"

I smiled back at him. "It'll all work out; you'll see."

"But at what cost? What if this ends in someone's death, Artemis?"

"It won't."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. It'll be fine, Nightwing."

Who knew I'd eat my words?

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**Okay. So I think I'm done here! This one didn't really turn out as well as I'd hoped, but whatever.**

**Reviews are amazing! Thank you to all of you who already have!**

**Until next time…**


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